The Detriment of being a planner.
I have been going through a lot in my life the past few weeks. Not so much what has been happening to me, but what has weighed heavy on my heart and mind.
Being a 29 year old, single, working/"college" student, who desperately wants to know what the future holds for him can become debilitating at certain times. This has been one of those times.
Don't get me wrong, its not that I am not happy with life. I love life. I love the fact that I have friends that care about me. I love my job. I love my school. I love a lot about Louisville. I really love the fact that I am going to Florida in less than a week :).
The problem stems from being a planner. Being a planner has its good points. When everyone is going out on a Friday night, it is the planner who calls ahead and gets tickets for the movie that will be sold out by the time they arrive at the theatre. It is a planner who counts the number of people that are going to be there so when they go to the hostess stand the number can be given to the hostess as the name is put on the wait (usually the planner's name :)). It is a planner who has the bug spray, so that when everyone is at the lake and the sun begins to set, the group will be protected from the mosquitos.
The only real drawback to being a planner is wanting to know how everything will turn out when there is no way of knowing how everything will turn out. One can plan for every single possible scenario, yet without knowing all the possible scenarios to plan for, the planner is at a loss.
As a Christian, this is where faith has to really step in. When I go through one of these debilitating times, I must always remind myself that God is in control...that he is sovereign over what is going to happen in the future. No amount of worrying now can effect or change what is going to happen in the future. All that the worrying does is effect my stress level for the moment.
Planning is good, I will always testify to that. I will try to plan anything that is "planable" when it is possible. But I must always come to terms with the fact that I can't have all of the answers to all of the questions, and know that I don't have to in order to stay the present course. All I must do is simply plug along where I am at, dealing with the "here and now", and trust that everything will work out as it is supposed to in the distant future.
posted by Kevin Yates @ 2:50 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
awesome sentiments and something we can all take to heart--even if we aren't all planners.
i for one am definitely a planner. i am a person that needs to have at least 2 backup plans before doing anything of consequence. the feeling of being out of control is something that i struggle with daily. my boyfriend is a very spontaneous person and he is trying his best to help me learn to let go. the one i should be letting go to is God. ultimately he has the plan...the backup plan...and the end-all-be-all plan. i have to lose control to gain control.
Very well put, Erin, and a great follow up to Kev's entry and segue way to my comment. One of the things I'm struggling with is having more faith to let go of things. What may seem as a "road to possibility" may be me trying to take control to make things happen my way. Heaven knows I've lost a lot in my life, so I think that's a defense mechanism to react - take control so you don't lose it, but let go a little so you can say you have faith. I'm really striving to completely let go and shout "Wheeeeee!"
Erin,
I hear ya...having the ultimate control is probably at the heart of the planner...in any situation.
Like the examples I gave of a planner, I think part of the reason I like to take charge and give the number of the party to the hostess is because i do indeed like my name to be the one they call out...of course representing that I have taken control of the situation...that I am in control of the situation and the situation is under control thanks to me :).
It is often times even hard for me to be a passenger in a car because I like to be the one driving, getting us where we are going.
Rose,
I totally understand...we always have to watch our motives behind our actions. I constantly need to make sure that what I am seeing in front of me is what I am supposed to see, not necessarily simply what I want to make of it.
i.e. I have ten different roads I could travel next year...I lean towards a few of them more than others. I need to make sure that I am not manipulating the situation so that I am leaning towards the one that I desire most, simply because I desire it. I need to look at it with some logic, and then compare that to what my heart is telling me.
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